Bereaved people from St Helens will gather at the town’s crematorium this Saturday for the latest in a series of monthly meetings that offer community, friendship and support.
The monthly bereavement café meetings are the creation of Sonia Smith, manager of the St Helens crematorium, who brings over 30 years of experience in bereavement services to her role as host.
The café is run by Sonia and her team on the first Saturday of every month in the crematorium’s Sunrise Ceremony Hall, and attendance has been steadily growing since its start in 2022.
The meetings offer a warm and inviting space for individuals to enjoy a hot drink and biscuits, while navigating their grief and sharing memories of loved ones.
On why talking about grief is important, Sonia said: “It helps you to cope, to move forward.
“It doesn’t help you to forget, because I think once you’ve lost somebody, that loss is always there, and some days it’s worse than others.
“But it makes you feel human, to be able to talk to someone that is experiencing the same thing as you.”
She added: “Some of the people that come here on their first day, they can’t even say their loved one’s name. And that’s okay. Sometimes they just sit here and listen.
“It’s so important to go at your own pace, there’s no rush with grief. For everyone it’s unique, and everyone’s grief is individual, so everyone behaves in a different way.
Sonia continued on: “We felt like that there’s not a lot of support for people who have lost a loved one, and when you’re going through the grieving process, it’s a really lonely place.
“Even if you’ve got family, sometimes you need a safe space to talk.
“We’re not counsellors, we’re here to listen and to help with that loneliness in grief, but we can also put them in contact with people who can do one-to-one counselling and provide the support they need.”
She added: “It’s quite a warm and calming atmosphere. There’s often times laughter because people are chatting about their loved ones, chatting about what they did, who they were, their history, things they’ve done together.
“A lot of the time when people are grieving, people don’t ask them about their loved ones. People think that’s going to upset them, but they’re still there and they still want to talk about them.
“They find that this is a comfortable space and people ask about their loved ones.”
“We’ve had people who came to the bereavement café very early on in their grief journey, and it was too much for them, but they’ve come back 6 months later.
“So you go at your own pace, it’s entirely up to anyone attending the café what they say, what they share, how they are.
“It’s very flexible, it’s very easy, and it’s a very calming area for them, a safe space.”
Feedback from attendees has included:
“Like minded people who understand how I’m feeling.”
“I enjoy the company. People to chat with over a cuppa and a cake.”
“Talking to others with similar experience. The laughter. The cakes. The amazing caring staff.”
The crematorium collaborates closely with the St Helens public health team to ensure that comprehensive support is available for those experiencing loss.
Families receive a leaflet outlining available services, including details about the monthly meetings, which can also be found on the St Helens Council website.
The café is further supported by the Friends of St Helens Cemetery, a volunteer community group active for nearly 20 years and who received the Queen’s Award for Voluntary Service in 2022.
The group promotes the café on their Facebook page and attends meetings, talking to those who have suffered a bereavement.
Looking ahead, the crematorium will host its annual Mother’s Day Memorial Service on Saturday, March 29, 2025, at 1:00 PM, an event cherished for the past decade and open to all.
Plans are also underway for a Father’s Day service later this year.
In May 2025, during Dying Matters Week, the crematorium intends to introduce a ‘Death Café’, where community members can engage in open discussions about death and the funeral process.
